Substance Abuse and Intimate Relationships will help, where professionals help you find the desire to become sober and take care of your family. Visit the center and get help to save your marriage and family. Addicts, the Underdogs, usually have guilt and shame about their past behavior, while their mates harbor anger and resentment, often for things about which the addict has no recollection. Just when the recovering addict needs Sober Home forgiveness, the partner may view sobriety as an opportune time to bring up long-held grievances. However, adding to the addict’s shame can undermine unstable abstinence. Partners are accustomed to their roles – the addict being unreliable and dependent, and the partner being a super-responsible fixer. No one wants you to have to get a divorce to cope with addiction unless you are unsafe or being abused.

A Texas native, Jennifer joined Burning Tree in 2007. She is happily married with two children and ten beautiful grandchildren. Cody Odom serves as Director of Finance for Burning Tree Programs. Responsible for managing the accounting and finance departments, Cody’s overarching mission is to ensure that all of our families and clients continue to receive ethical, affordable treatment. Holding a Bachelor of Business Administration from Texas State University, Cody will be completing his Masters in Accounting during the summer of 2022. A Texas native, Cody is a sober softball enthusiast, the parent of two adorable cats, and is engaged to be married in May of 2022. Jade Perry serves as Human Resources Administrator for Burning Tree Ranch.

Are You Losing a Major Common Bond by Not Drinking Together?

Partners are accustomed to their roles — the addict being unreliable and dependent, and the partner being a super-responsible fixer. In Codependency for Dummies, I term these roles Underdog and Top Dog. The Underdog addict is self-centered and irresponsible, and feels vulnerable, needy, and loved only when receiving. Top Dog is other-centered and over-responsible, and feels invulnerable, self-sufficient, and loved only when giving. They both feel sorry for themselves, blame one another, and have guilt and shame, but Underdog feels guilty needing help, and Top Dog feels guilty not giving it. There are many different treatments available that can be effective in reducing or eliminating problems with alcohol or other drugs. Some treatments involve individual counseling, others involve group counseling, and still others involve self-help meetings and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotic Anonymous. So, if you have a problem with drinking or drug use, it is worth it to enter treatment, not only for you, but also for your partner, children, friends, and others. If your partner has a problem with drugs or alcohol, getting him or her to enter treatment may be one of the best things you can do for him and your relationship.

Born and raised in Kaufman, TX, she has been bringing value to the Burning Tree team since 2017. Alcohol is incredibly damaging to your ability to conceive children, which can be hugely painful for a partner who’s keen to start a family. Drinking excessively can prevent a woman from getting pregnant, and it damages a man’s sperm. Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires. If anyone will ask you about your drinking or push you into drinking, that is 100% about them, not you. People will either support you, cheer for you or distance themselves you from, and either way, you will be a-okay. After about 90-days of sobriety, he changed his tune. That’s why we create a personalized treatment plan for each and every patient. When he’s drunk, her reaction is to reproach him for his behavior, and that’s the very worst time to attempt to communicate with him.

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Once he felt comfortable again, his smile and warmth returned along with a new playfulness. I discovered that those traits were his innate qualities and not alcohol-induced. I knew that without it, he would eventually marriage changes after sobriety destroy our relationship and his life. We had a clear vision of our life together that had been interrupted by his substance use disorder. I was eager, at times perhaps too much, to get us back on track.

Learn more about the characteristics of a chronic relapser. You don’t have a problem, please remind yourself why you want to stay sober. Will lessen the worry you have about being pushed into drinking. Your treatment and personal information will always remain 100% confidential. Until she learns what is wrong with her attitude and how to change herself so he will be forced to face his responsibilities, the situation isn’t likely to improve. You can also read the documentation to learn about Wordfence’s blocking tools, or visit to learn more about Wordfence. When you heart, comment or share, the article’s «Ecosystem» score goes up—helping it to be seen by more readers & helping the author to get paid. If you want more, grab a subscription for unlimited reads for $48/year. And clearly you appreciate mindfulness with a sense of humor and integrity! Why not join the Elephant community, become an Elephriend.

What to Do if Your Partner Has an Addiction

The staff was caring, professional, and knowledgeable. I came in hopeless and left hopeful, with a treasure chest full of “good” coping tools. Casa Palmera gave me a second chance at “Living the Life” I’ve always wanted. Balance, sobriety, health and a mindful approach for a lasting recovery. I really appreciated all of the compassion, support and understanding I received at Casa Palmera. The therapists, counselors, nursing staff, front desk, make you feel confident that you are in good hands abd that they really do care and make it easier to see through the darkness in a storm.

  • While you may harbor resentment or anger toward your spouse, it’s often counterproductive or damaging to constantly rehash these feelings.
  • Nobody likes to think that addiction will happen to them or to their partner.
  • Sure, the hangovers sucked and made working life increasingly difficult, but it seemed like a small price to pay for grabbing life by the horns.
  • Through Colleen’s own recovery, she has learned that once dysfunction has been addressed, lives can drastically change.

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